I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
