there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
