You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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