If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
