oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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