sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
