I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize