I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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