Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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