how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
