I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
