now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
