I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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