2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
