return my video game
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
