Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
