You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
