Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
