i just google imaged poop.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
