Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
