This house was built for laser tag.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
