Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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