shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
