i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
