...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
