plz talk dirty to me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
