i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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