I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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