Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
