My nipple is on Facebook.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
