its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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