who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
