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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Tornado warnings are fun!

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of costume was that supposed to be??

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm an orgasm trader!

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• (818): View more from California

  Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.

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• (760): View more from California

  I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I need to get some goddam control over my hormones

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• (518): View more from New York

  It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?

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• (585): View more from New York

  For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.

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