Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
