It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize