ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
