I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
