I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
