a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
