if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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