Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize