What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
