i permit you to call me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
