Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
