Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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