I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize