chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
