is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
