i don't like sucking hair
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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