Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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