shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
