Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i out mim tonsoeep
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