wakey wakey hands off snakey
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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