Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
