Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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