if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
