I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
