If i come over, it means nothing
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize