You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
