Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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