we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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