What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
