dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
